I was going to wait till later to post, but what else am I doing ? Shawn started his new job today with the army, and I am so excited that he is working during the day. It still kind of sucks that he has to work his other job too for the next week or 2, meaning he leaves before I even wake up, and is back when it's almost bed time, but in the long run it will all be okay. Yesterday a friend at my old job at a grocery store said that he can talk to the manager (a different manager from when I was there) about me getting my job back. I know that with his new job, I really don't need a job, but after explaining why I need this, Shawn had no arguement.
With his deployment less then a year away, I don't want to be one of those army wives that wait until deployment is a short time away, and then panic and think about how I am going to hold myself together. If I can get this job back, then I can make it part of my routine. By the time he deploys, working will be apart of what I do, and it will help with my coping with him leaving. I refuse to be in the house going stir-crazy (I already do that and he hasn't gone anywhere!).
I know this might sound strange to some, but I honestly loved working at the supermarket. It was my speed, I knew what I was doing, and when I left, I was in line to be trained to run the front end. I remember when I left in January 2009, I couldn't wait to get back to work after having Aubrey. I worked past my due date (Aubrey was 5 days late). Then after having her, then 2 months later finding out Gizelle was deaf, I knew I wasn't going to work anytime soon. Now that everything is stable (for the most part) I am ready! I still remember my cashier password (which I will need a new one anyway) I still have my work shirt, I still have my badge, I still know most of the codes, I am so ready for it.
The manager said that I can have my job back, and I just need to fill out the application again! It was funny filling it out. I got to the question where it asked if I am viewed as more of a friendly person or a serious person. Gizelle ran over to me and placed a headband with wiggly shamrock atteneas on my head. I thought, well I can't be a serious person looking like this. I don't believe it's been 2 years since I have worked. but being a mom is a fulltime job.
Gizelle, has been crazy today (like usual). Her Titi Sandy bought her a cinderella outfit, a purse, makeup, a tiara, and heels this weekend while she was with her dad. She brought ALL of it to school today. I think her school is just used to Gizelle coming to school with a tiara on her head anymore. There is no talking Gizelle out of it. Everytime her dad buys her anything, she MUST wear it, and MUST tell EVERYONE that daddy bought me this. She is so proud. It is kind of cute. After all, she is the deaf diva.
Aubrey has been begging me to go to school. I think I want to look into daycares for her. I know that she is "advanced" so I want to make sure she goes somewhere that is both safe and is "on her level". Aubrey was counting to 15 since she was 1 and a half. She can tell you every color, the recognizes every letter and number, she knows that she thinks with her brain and breathes with her lungs. She is wonderful. She makes me wonder, how different would Gizelle have been if she wasn't deaf? It's like a tootsie pop, the world may never know. I try not to ask myself these questions anymore. I don't think it makes me sad anymore, but I just try to tell myself that you can't change it.
When you are pregnant, you don't get to choose how your child will come out. She could have been blind, had autism, had a heart condition, had mental disabilities, it could have been anything in the world. God gave me a beautiful brilliant divalicious deaf baby girl. It took a little bit to cope with it, to understand it, to learn about it, (which I am still doing ALL of those). But here I am. I am proud of what I have. I tell myself everyday, thankfully I gave birth to her, and not somebody that couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine anyone else to live my life for me. God only gives you what he knows you can handle. Though my life is crazy, it is mine, and I wouldn't change it for the world.
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