This entry is going to be very.. very.. hard to write. I need to choose my words very wisely. I am not even sure I should be writing this. But this is my blog, about my life, and I need to release my emotions so on with it.
If you read my blog entry last time, then this one starts where the last when left off. Still pissed, still emotional.. still.. uggh.
So Gizelles dad was supposed to come get her Saturday morning. He called me and asked if I could drop her off which was no big deal at all. Not too long after that.. he asks me if I can drop her off at like 9pm. It was noon. 9pm is almost her bed time. NO G just get her another time. When he hears to word NO, it's as if a little demon is born in his brain. G does not take kindly to people trying to tell him what to do, or what he can and can't have/do. After a few not nice words from him, I told him that he is pathetic and the most unreliable person I know. He translated what I said into "your a low life and you don't love your daughter enough".
He called me around 5pm, and said he dropped everything he was doing, he didn't even go food shopping, but he said he has money to buy her food, and that I can drop her off whenever I am ready. I decided, despite his attitude, I know that I can take her there, and I now don't have to worry about breaking Gizelles heart. Off we went. We get there, and he begins to tell me how "nutty" I am. How much of a "b*tch" I am. I am sorry, but if me trying to be a responsible parent and save my daughter heartache makes me a "nutty b*tch" then so be it.
Shawn and I headed home, I was slightly irritated but not enough to ruin my mood. I was considering going out. I deserved a break right? For one reason or another, the people that I wanted to go out with got caught up in doing other stuff, and I stayed home and hung out with my lovely husband. I stayed up late, and planned a whole day for me and Shawn to escape.
The plan was that we were going to wake up, and I was going to type our destination into tomtom(the GPS) and Shawn is just going to drive to the surprise. I wanted to take him to this place I found called Sofuso. Shofuso is a Japanese house and garden, it reflects Japenese culture, and just looks beautiful. It has a koi pond, and is just something you never see living in Philadelphia. Thats what I want. That is what I have been craving. Something "out of the norm". It is very rare that me and Shawn actually have "alone" time. So we try to take full advantage of every moment that we get.
After going to Shofuso, the plan was to take him to Geno's Steaks. Sure Shofuso seems very peaceful and beautiful, but after all, this is Philly, and we love cheesesteaks. Shawn has never been to Geno's OR Pat's! Time to take care of that. I sent shawn a text message in the wee hours and told him I have an adventure planned out today, and to wake me up when he gets up. I could probably sleep through the winter if I could. Maybe I was a bear in my past life.
In the morning, I see he is excited and curious. I think thats why I love planning surprise adventures for us so much, just the excitement of him dying to know what were doing, and the fact that I know, and that I dont drive so he literally has to follow the GPS and drive himself right into a surprise. It's almost like me and tomtom are sidekicks!
As soon as I started getting ready, I heard something. It sounded like the start of something big crumbling. But what? What could crumble? Oh wait, my plans. RING RING. "Gizelle has been asking for you all morning and she wants to come home, can you come get her?"... BOOM.. there we go, plans have officially hit the ground, hard. I told him I had some thing to do, but I would pick her up a little bit later. tick tick tick EXPLODE. G starts screaming at me, "how come I have to drop everything I am doing when you say so, but when I want you to pick her up you can't" Sigh. It was so hard not to fire back with one of my witty comebacks, but I knew it was pointless. He doesn't understand. Imagine if I called him everytime Gizelle asked for her dad, and demanded he come haul her away at that second? All I wanted was to have adult time. To be around anybody that doesn't call me Mommy.
That's when things took a turn for the worse. G told me.. "when you come get, watch what happens to you, and yea thats a threat". This, is not the first time that he has said hurtful things to me. Not the first time he has threatened me. But it WOULD be the last time I stood for his disrepectfulness. He hung up on me. My gears were going.
My decision was to call the police district closest to his house, explain the situation, and take it from there. They told me, that I should go to where my daughter was, and wait a block away from his house, then call 911 for a "domestic call". Then wait for a cop to come escort me to pick up my daughter. Sounds good, up until you realize that your sitting in a hot car on a corner waiting for the police for 20 minutes. It would have been easier to order a pizza.
My phone rang, it was G's moms number. She only lives right around the corner from where G is staying. It was G. I was worried, then I remembered he had no idea I was on my way, or about my plan. I told him I would be on my way soon, and he said that when I get there were going to f**king talk, and that since I will be on my way, he will go wait at the house. We hung up, and I disregarded the urge to flip out on the phone because I knew the cops were supposed to be on thier way.
It dawned on me; If he is going to his house, he is going to walk right past our hiding parking spot and blow our cover while we wait for the cops. I had my eyes peeled, and I seen him. Shawn was going to drive around the corner and go back to our spot and wait. Halfway around the block, his mom called me extremely upset. The only words I could make out were "G and Sam (her husbands, G's step father) almost got into a fight in front of Gizelle". I just went from irritated to infuriated. Sadly, it isn't the first time he has faught, or almost faught somebody with my daughter around.
NEW PLAN - Go to his moms, calm her down, get the story straight, re-call 911, tell them to meet me at her house. That, we did. Waited.. for another HOUR. I called 911 back every 20 minutes. The cops come. Everything I said, there reply was mmmm okkkayy? Way to make me feel like I am wasting your time police department. Oh, and they told me he didn't threaten me. I mean, I guess he didn't say "when you get here I am going to break your nose" or "stomp your toes" or something detailed. But come on police, this is PHILLY. If somebody is going to shoot somebody, they are more then likely not going to say "I am going to shoot my gun at you". I think that "When you get here, watch what happens to you" is a concern, especially if the person himself self "and yea thats a THREAT". Maybe I just dont fully get it. Anyway. They "escort" me to get her, I go there, of course he flips out about the cops, he curses me out, and they don't do anything. He puts her in the car, and walks right past to cops, and yells my name. I look, and he does that fingers-to-eye thing like "I am watching you". I felt like I was in Meet The Fockers. Oh, the cop saw that too, and said nothing, he literally shrugged his shoulders.
That's all I can say for now. I am just.. totally over this. I don't want to be one of the people like "baby mama drama" or something. I just .. am lost for now. Lost in the sauce. Drowning in my own thoughts. I am so used to being told about "support systems" with Gizelle's deafness. I wonder if there is a support system for young married mothers on 2 kids, 1 of which is deaf, that is an army wife but the oldest childs father is a wannabe gangster? naah I didn't think so...
UGGGGGGGGGGGH
xoxo- Katie
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